So far on the journey I have noticed a series of phases. In mind and in body.
Right throughout the adventure I have managed to keep this stubborn mindset that has giving me the motivation to keep with my goals, but there has been so many other complicated levels of physical and mental consciousness that I feel like I need to share.
Phase 1 – Hope
We have all been there.
We sit at our desks, in our offices, at counters and registers and we daydream about the things we covet the most.
We might pluck out an especially special dream and decide that it might actually be doable.
We might plan out the details, and tell ourselves it is achievable.
This plan might be a solo adventure or we might hurl a friend or significant other into the mix to give it substance.
Then, if we make it that far, we begin.
And we hope.
We hope that THIS time, it works.
This time, we stick with it.
This time we achieve the previously unachievable.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have been stuck on that same hope record my entire life.
The lyrics and melody might change, but in the end it is the same damn song that just keeps skipping and never ends.
Phase 2: Doubt
Sometimes that record skips so much I think it might just be stuck flinging itself right back to the beginning.
This might be little bit of phase 1 still hanging on.
You might not even recognise it at first.
Like a tendril of lingering smoke, you may not even smell it until someone brings it to your attention, but it’s there. Doubt.
It is there when you tell people about your goal and they just laugh it off as your latest set-to-fail fad.
It is there when you are forever tired. Forever sore. Forever living in that moment of Sleep, Eat, Repeat, and nothing else seems to change.
It is there when you are having one if those days when simply leaving the house and joining the community is your biggest achievement of the day.
It is there and it is usually the biggest killer of your dreams.
Remember, it is just a fleeting thought. A passable phase.
Phase 3 – Disbelief
Not necessarily directly following Doubt and although very similar, a completely different emotion that for me specifically stems from vanity and arrogance.
“Is this really happening? Look at me go! Look how great I look! I can’t believe how awesome I am!”
This isn’t really a phase but a lingering constant.
I still run this kind of monologue even now and I hope it never leaves me because it makes me feel like a fucking queen every time I run in public.
I may toy simultaneously with doubt and disbelief just to jeep myself on my toes.All puns intended.
Disbelief is my companion every time I complete something I never really thought I would.
Like I am watching myself from someone else perspective.
Disbelief is the proud mother that cheers me on and reminds me that everything I am doing is so important because I’m doing it for me.
Just don’t let disbelief linger long enough to poison your morale like all those people that still think your dreams are only dreams.
Phase 4 – Determination
If you have been chasing it long enough, you should be at a point where you know, without a doubt, without disbelief that you are actually capable of achieving something.
You can look back over your shoulder at who you were right when you started, and you can honestly say that even if everything fell apart right now, you are a better person now for the journey you have already undertaken.
This Determination should be your fuel and your fire and will blast you into the next phase of your adventure.
This is where I am currently residing.
Don’t get me wrong – I still occasionally dabble in the other phases. I still have bad days. I still let a little bit of doubt creep in when I think about the finish line that I have created for myself.
But it is generally only a fleeting thought which is consumed by my Determination.
I wonder, what’s next?